Contemplative

Perhaps I may tend to use this more than I had intended , it is nice to have a journal... even though I know there will be not any mortal who could feel the depths of my sorrow. My days grow more weary with time, I know I could probably confess that with each and every passing day. I grow bored and tired with this place like I grow tired hearing the clock tick and watching the dust swirl around in the tiny delicate air currents that conspire in my bedroom.... even with the shades closed tight I can feel the suns arrival and it is making me uneasy and restless ...I feel irritable ...

I have but read every piece of literature in the towns small and frail library , I have but seen every amazing structure which amazed me at one time. I have searched the Internet world countless hours ... for this I feel lucky as my brothers and sisters before me would have not had this opportunity to see what the world would become, still I feel just great un-satisfaction.

I am lacking my once young and spirited mind.... I feel as though my body finally is growing old and my mind follows it's call....but I remain the same on the outside ..this disturbs my inner emotions immensely.

what man would dare touch my cold skin anyways, but that is not my concern I suppose I have even grown tired of companionship as well....

what does this universe have left to offer such a dark soul and heart full of sins such as mine?... a wretched half monster and half woman as great as I !? I know not what I am fully anymore....
I can no longer remember my rights and wrongs only feel them after my dirty deeds have been wrought. But I know... I know in my heart I was a good person once in this life of mine. If only I could remember her. If I could remember my life as a mortal , more than mere bits and pieces I could feel a tiny bit of solace .

I suppose it is time for me to stop dwelling on these matters for now , as it has done me no good.
the sun is upon me and I will go lay now....

untill the dawn - la revedere ....xx